Anxiety!

We are in the middle of the most tumultuous time our son has ever gone through. We are MOVING! We already moved out of our house and into a temporary townhome until we can move into our new house (which hopefully will be the last move for a long time). Most of our stuff is in boxes, we are disorganized, and in waiting mode! Our son has done better than I would have thought. It is also summer which is not always the best time for our son because the structure is a little lacking. Most summers, I plan out our days with picture schedules and talk a lot about our day, but this summer with the transition, I have not been as good as I would have liked to be about schedule. However, our son and daughter have been champs. We have stayed consistent with our sensory diet: lots of park time (for climbing, swinging), lots of water time (water table or our community pool), lots of running, weighted vests, squishes, and mini trampoline. We have been consistent with our morning and bedtime routine which has helped even when we were on vacation. We have also talked a lot about moving, walked through the house as much as possible, and talked about getting a turtle (transition item). Our son already knows his name will be tiny tim.

All of these things I think have helped tremendously, but at times the anxiety flares in different ways. For instance meltdowns and anxiety about where his belongings are. He has an excellent memory and will ask at different times where a certain item is, and if I can't show him it is very anxiety provoking for him. He also gets into sorting and categorizing the items he does have and often takes a lot of his sister's items into the mix. If his sister wants to play with her things, that can become another meltdown. Our son's meltdowns now at 4 1/2 consist of vein popping, completely rigid, tight, tense body with fist clenched, tears, etc... A look of panic comes into his eyes. His world that he is trying to control was just interfered with, and he wants it back the way he sees it in his mind that will bring him the most feeling of order and safety. This has been a problem for my daughter because she has gotten into the habit of just letting things go (she is very laid back). She doesn't really fight for things, so she took to just wandering around most of the time. (Siblings posts to come soon). So this behavior with all the transition has become very frequent. As I mentioned in the last post, his stemming behavior has also gotten more and more frequent throughout the day (whether excited or anxious) he slaps himself a lot and very hard. Redirecting this behavior has been hard this summer. Little changes have also been difficult such as sitting in an age appropriate booster seat. This has been a tough one. He wants so badly to hold on to his familiar seat. We have held out as along as possible but our son is freakishly tall and has outgrown his seat (meant to last well past now). However, we have a new baby coming in a few weeks, and we have made the change talking a lot about making room for his baby brother.

All of these things I can see from his perspective as ways of trying to right his world again, and we as parents have felt terrible that we have disrupted his world so much this summer, but in a way we can see how it is benefiting him to have to come to terms with the way life changes in ways. We are going to put his world back to normal as much as possible when we finally move permanently in the next few weeks. We will talk a lot about how well he did with the changes and celebrate his successes with him through a turtle or whatever else makes him feel safe and attached to his new environment. I am so proud of him for how he has responded. I can't say it enough. I see him growing and flourishing and become more familiar with the world around him.

In the book on page 21, Jake feels the same way about his home and safety. I remember last year, it was a miracle if we could get our son to leave the house. There was such a strong aversion to leaving his safety nest (his house). Look how far we have come! He is enjoying so many things outside of the house.

Have you had big life changes that have altered your child's world?
How did you handle these changes?

Until next time,
Stefany